Boys will be Boys – Simola Hillclimb

A boys weekend to the Simola Hillclimb

In a world where a 30-something-year-old man can identify as a little girl and that little girl can become a brand ambassador for Bud Light, this title might be considered controversial. Especially when generation-woke has labelled anything even vaguely male or masculine as “toxic”. Thankfully, thanks to an old car, a road-trip and some motorsports, I was reminded last weekend, that it’s still OK to be a “dude”. In fact… at times it’s damn good fun!

Friday morning. Still dark outside; the entire neighbourhood is still asleep. In the silence I hear the unmistakeable sound of a 4-cylinder engine with some form of induction kit or cone filter. Seconds later, my dogs break silence and start barking. It would seem my ride is here. And what a ride she is!

Our 1990’s roadtrip was going to be in a 90’s SUV, a first generation Toyota Rav4. But not just any Rav either. This was the original press car for South Africa when Toyota launched the Rav4 on our market. Even with mileage well north of 300,000km on the odometer, we had no doubts our chariot would reach our destination. For the next 5-6 hours, we would travel down the N2 for one of the country’s most unique motorsports events.

Knysna is basically taken over for the weekend by racecars

The Simola Hillclimb takes place every year, in Knysna. The entire town is basically taken over for the weekend by racecars, classics and absolutely monstrous horsepower. Everywhere you go, people are wearing the tell-tail arm bands that give them access to the event. The atmosphere is electric and it’s like the whole sleepy town suddenly comes to life. But first we have to get there.

A funny thing happens when you take 4 grown men away from wife, child and home. Put them in a car together and send them off on some kind of adventure. It really turns back the clock. Well let’s be honest, we all become juvenile and act like we are 12 again! Before our battle-hardened Rav made it to Riviersonderend, we had already named our “team”, renamed the car “The Ravstor” and created our own salute.

Another thing that becomes immediately apparent when you are driving through the Western Cape, is just what a stunning part of the world we live in. Whizzing past the incredible scenery we swapped stories, told jokes (mostly at each others’ expense) and stopped at every petrol station between Cape Town and Knysna so Nico could evacuate his peanut-sized bladder. But when you take the time to just look out of the window, the sights will take your breath away. Rolling hills, farm land, mountains, valleys, rivers, dams, ocean, beaches – we have it all along the N2.

Simola hillclimb gives spectators incredible access

Due to work commitments, various coffee and drink stops, and someone’s peanut-bladder, we unfortunately had to give Classic Friday a miss. We did however, get to see some of the cars at the Friday night parade and festivities. Something that really stood out to me about the Hillclimb event is just how much access spectators get. You get to walk between the cars and get a close up look of the machines that charge up the hill. Once you are done drooling over the size of the turbos and all the shiny bits strapped to engines that are barely holding on, you get to talk to the drivers.

Racing drivers are people too! Without exception, wherever we approached drivers to talk about their cars and their driving experience on the hillclimb, they were happy to chat. Not just quick answers and move on to the next person either. They are happy to spend time and strike up a proper conversation. Craig Czank for example, showed us around his 1UZ powered Cobra. And its massive turbo, capable of over 1500 horsepower when cranked up. Likewise, Andrew Rackstraw and his team, talked us through the technical aspects of their Formula VW Single Seater. Even heavyweights like Peter Solberg and Mika Salo were happy to talk to fans, shake hands and sign whatever objects got shoved into their hands.

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2 members of our group were wearing Alfa T-Shirts

Whilst sitting in a café near the parade, we were also approached by Piet Potgieter. Oom Piet would be piloting his Alfa Romeo Guillia up the hill the next day. 2 members of our group were wearing Alfa T-Shirts, so he just had to say hello. We had a long chat about his run up the hill last year, his car, the hillclimb and Alfa in general.

By the end of day one we felt like we were already friends with half of the hillclimb competitors. And we hadn’t even set foot on the hill yet.

Saturday morning. After waiting roughly 2 hours for André to tend his beard and perform his daily ablutions, we head to the hill. Surprisingly enough, getting into the event was easy – no traffic, no long queues, and plenty of parking. Even if you do really want some form of off-roader to traverse the grassy fields.

Cars are already roaring and screaming their way up the hill. On the far hill opposite you can catch a glimpse of cars coming back down the hill after their runs. A short hike and a shuttle ride later, we take up position on the grandstand on turn 2 of the course.

absolutely massive testicular fortitude

Many people have said that they find hillclimb racing a little boring to watch. Single cars shooting past you. One at a time. I’m here to tell you, it’s anything but boring. I will grant you it is a little more specialist. You kind of have to know what driving a fast car is like in order to truly appreciate it. Because, by far the most impressive thing about the hillclimb is understanding the absolutely massive testicular fortitude (even for the lady drivers) required, to go up that hill at those speeds in those machines.

When you see cars with thousands of horsepower launching off the line and start climbing towards the first turns, you can see how the drivers are fighting. Fighting with a monster-car that seems intent on hurling itself through this hill rather than over it. As they shoot past at over 200kph, you can smell the tyres burning. Even at speed, these cars have so much power they are struggling for traction! Each run may only last less than a minute, but I’m pretty sure that it’s an absolutely white knuckle ride from bottom to the top!

The back end came around and he was unable to catch it

Pushing machines like this to their limits is risky. And, rather inevitably, there are some spills and near misses at the hillclimb. Probably the most heart-stopping of these, for us at least, was when our new friend, Piet Potgieter lost control of his Alfa. At the end of a really great run, he lifted off the power, as the car crested the hill on the slight corner right at the end of the course. The back end came around and he was unable to catch it, making him a passenger in a car traveling sideways at break-neck speeds.

Due to camera angles, we couldn’t see where he ended up as he simply disappeared around the corner out of view. Thanks to loadshedding, we couldn’t hear any commentary at that stage either. We had no idea whether oom Piet was OK or not. Recovery vehicles, paramedics and a fire truck went charging up the hill. More worryingly, we never saw his car coming down the hill.

When racing resumed we decided to make our way to the pits to see if we could find him, or at least his car, so we could see if he was OK. In the meantime Niël, who has actually driven the hillclimb, was telling us how losing your car at that point usually meant it’s a write off. Hills in Knysna are unlike race tracks. There are no safety barriers or run-off areas. So imagine our surprise when we walked into the pits to find oom Piet’s car, almost unscathed. The only damage, a small crack on one of the tail lights. But, where was the man himself? Chatting to the young lad who was busy cleaning his car, we were told oom Piet was taken to hospital for observation. But consensus was that he’s generally OK.

what we do is not entirely without risk

A very real wake-up call. Back to reality and the realisation that, as much as we love racing and motorsports, what we do is not entirely without risk. Much relieved that oom Piet was going to be OK, we spent some time in the pits. Looking at the cars and chatting to the teams again. Steve Humble was right at the far end of the pit straight. Busy working furiously on a pair of single seater cars powered by ridiculous Indycar engines! Their screaming V8’s could be heard charging up the hill from miles away. They probably win my award for best sounding cars on the hill.

Exhausted, we left the hill around 6PM in search of sustenance. We found it in the form of a brilliant Portuguese restaurant in the Harbour. What followed was a mixture of banter, serious race discussions and mud-slinging over Nico and André’s aversion to chicken livers.

Sunday Morning. The obligatory 2 hour wait for André to perform more ablutions and beard trimming. Followed shortly by his doing what can only be described as an Olympic arse-dive on the driveway of our guest house. Badly winded and with a stiff back, we helped wrangle him into the driver’s seat of the Ravstor. And back to the hill we went.

It had rained HARD during the night

Having seen how some of these cars struggle for traction in ideal conditions, we were very interested to see how they would fare today. It had rained HARD during the night. As it would turn out, the rain hadn’t all together gone yet either. With the track still very slick, cars were struggling to make their way around corners. Even up the straight section, cars were scrambling to put their power down!

Peter Solberg, of course, hadn’t been told the track is wet. In fact we don’t think he realised it’s wet. Or maybe it just didn’t make any difference to him. Either way, he put on a display of car control and incredible driving skill that would make any of us feel inadequate. Some may argue that his RX car is built for conditions like this. But that doesn’t reduce the amount of actual driving he was doing. Watching the on-board footage of his runs, the steering wheel is constantly moving. Having to make constant adjustments, balancing throttle and steering to keep the car right on the ragged edge. An absolutely incredible performance. Solberg absolutely takes my driver’s award for the weekend. ( a much coveted award that drivers the world over aspire to acquire… obviously)

During a short walk through the pits, we bumped into oom Piet! Small bandage on his head, but in good spirits. On doctors’ advice he would not be driving today. Luckily this meant he could have a few beers and just spectate for the day. We were certainly very happy to see him up and about!

surprising everyone by electing to run on slicks

Young Rackstraw, the C&C resident racing driver, took to the hill for the final time. Surprising everyone by electing to run on slicks! Obviously they read the track correctly, and he put in a blistering performance. Slithering up the hill and posting a cracking time. Finishing 3^rd in the single seater category, behind a ridiculous Radical, and a Gould with huge horsepower, shows just how well he drove.

We were really hoping to see Reghard Roets winning King of the Hill in Modified Saloons. By the end of the straight he was substantially quicker than Franco Scribante in his “snowplough”. In fact, had Reghard simply stuck to his rhythm from previous runs, he would have taken the title. Unfortunately he kept pushing and sent it just that little bit too hard. Sliding wide in the esses and performing a miracle save saw him finishing. Unfortunately it cost him just enough time to drop to second. Next year Reggie, we’ll be routing for you!

Genuinely sad to turn our backs on a great boys weekend and a fantastic racing event. And of course the town of Knysna, we took to the N2 once more. Just outside Knysna, the Ravstor graduated to 350,000km. The four of us had so much fun, we were already talking about next year. What car we would take. What other events we could drive to. Great friends, great car, great racing and good times. See you next year Simola.